B&B...discouraged..

Discouraged. Have you ever felt discouraged?

So disheartened, downcasted and somewhat dejected so much so that everything seems gloomy, dull and grey?
Have you?

I reckon with your level of intelligence, your positivism, your cheerfulness, that even if you ever felt down, you'll never be out; whenever you were downcasted, you'd easily lift yourself up
you'd go kick some balls, play some games, rock your head to some banging of drums and all would be fine and fine to face life again
well, at least you seem the sort to me

*sigh* wish I'm like that - positive, able to lift myself up easily and face life head on again after a fall
but the problem is, it's not 'a' fall...there were so many.......
how, like that?



B&B. hmmm.....God alone knows how badly b&b I am
how badly I need His healing Hands to touch & heal
to lift me up from all the bruises, struggles & battles
did I tell you I'm crushed?



today, I teared so much
I felt so bad towards my dad, felt I've let him down so much and so badly
no, not felt; I have
a billion apologies to him ain't enough to relate how badly I felt, for letting him down
for failing him, time & again
for failing myself....
for failing
how do I make amends?

and like I said in my previous post, everything is so overwhelming

so overwhelming

I really don't know where to look even,

where to start looking

don't know where & how to start

am I making sense?