2008....Happy New Year dear Eph

Eph.....am sure your Christmas was meaningful, special & beautiful.

mine was....except that I should not have spent it in a Muslim country...where azan was booming when it should have been praises & joyous singing to the Lord Jesus.

wonder how it wuld be, if we were to celebrate Christmas together?
would there be lots of cooking & eating?
would there be lots of joy & sharing of laughter?
would there be lots of love?
would there be peace, harmony & happiness amongst family members?
would there be a silent & joyous grateful thanksgiving in rememberance of our Lord Jesus' birth & what Christmas truly means?
on the other side, what would our feelings of each other be?
platonic friendship?
close acquaintance?
close long-lost-now-found friends?
or more than those mentioned?
(would there be a chance for our lips to meet & linger on, during the countdown?)

Am very sure your 2007 was filled with memorable moments, sweet memories & happy milestones, matured perspectives, conquered challenges, fulfilled goals & achieved ambitions.

wherever you are now, at this moment in time, I wish you a very Happy 2008.
May this year bring you great joy, lots of love,& happiness, successes in all that you undertake, victories in all your aims, goals & ambitions.
May this year also bring you closer in your walk with the Lord, to know Him more personally & intimately.

Happy New Year, dear.
May the Lord Jesus bless you richly & abundantly this year & all the years to come!AMEN!

My temper...

Hi Eph...
it's been a while, eh?

I blew my top today.....I was fuming... and burst out...kicked the door...threw out the luggage that was the cause of the blowup
1 thing I hate, is being nagged at
I truly detest that. truly hate being nagged & anyone who's a nag
and worse, if that someone happens to be a male, instead of female

why?!
how is it that a guy can be such a nag??! is really beyond me....
funnily, the day didn't start off bad...it was only after dinner & when the nagging started....oh!


anyway...

looking at the date of my last post, I realized it's has beena logn while since I lasted posted...
doesn't mean you're not in my mind though...just didn't have the time (was in the midst of preparation for a mega impt paper) and when that was over, I was busy...rejoicing! watching kdrama marathon....and plainly enjoying the Lord...

it was a great time of celebration...now, I'm in the midst of clearing up my room, getting ready for expansion & increases...I need to extend the place of my tents....

It's always somewhat mentally overwhelming but this is the ONE very thing that I need to eliminate out of the way in order to somewhat mentally progress onward & keep progressing forward...so I need to grit my teeth & push on, no matter how mentally overwhelming it might be...this is the final time I'm going plod through the rut & therafter, no more. It will be victory form here onwards.
God promised that He'll never leave nor forsake me. His Grace is more than sufficient for me to meet all my needs for the day. Praise Jesus. AMEN!

Food, food, FOOD

Eph dear...
heard that there's this great Nyonya stall at p.Tikus mkt..
selling all great kinds of Nyonya dishes, including nasi ulam
you bring me there can?

and also, this again, great kerabu mee siam by an old uncle..
we track him down & makan this can?
can?!
I really, really want to go to the P.Tikus market....
been long time...
have heard so much about it
beh tahan oredi...

ok?
set.

:-)

Where are you, Ephrem?

Where are you?
I needed you so much, today
so much

I needed a hug
all I had was tears
non stop flowing down my cheeks

dunno why, today (& abit of yest) my eyes seemed like resevoir of tears...
the tears just flowed
I wept alot
where are you?!
I need you here...

Yesterday, I thought of you lots...

If you noticed I haven't been posting...Not that I don't want to
just that am in the midst of a very mega impt exams preparation
and I just, just CAN'T AFFORD TO SCREW up this time
just bear with me till post exams, ok?
No posts doesnt mean you haven't been in my thots :-)
just not extendedly...

Today...

I thought alot today
about things, about how I've lived, all these yrs in UK
things that I've done and not done
things should have done but didnt
I thought about Life; in general, in specifics esp to me
my thoughts were alot calmer today than yesterday's



and came to some conclusions
because today, God made His revelations

B&B...discouraged..

Discouraged. Have you ever felt discouraged?

So disheartened, downcasted and somewhat dejected so much so that everything seems gloomy, dull and grey?
Have you?

I reckon with your level of intelligence, your positivism, your cheerfulness, that even if you ever felt down, you'll never be out; whenever you were downcasted, you'd easily lift yourself up
you'd go kick some balls, play some games, rock your head to some banging of drums and all would be fine and fine to face life again
well, at least you seem the sort to me

*sigh* wish I'm like that - positive, able to lift myself up easily and face life head on again after a fall
but the problem is, it's not 'a' fall...there were so many.......
how, like that?



B&B. hmmm.....God alone knows how badly b&b I am
how badly I need His healing Hands to touch & heal
to lift me up from all the bruises, struggles & battles
did I tell you I'm crushed?



today, I teared so much
I felt so bad towards my dad, felt I've let him down so much and so badly
no, not felt; I have
a billion apologies to him ain't enough to relate how badly I felt, for letting him down
for failing him, time & again
for failing myself....
for failing
how do I make amends?

and like I said in my previous post, everything is so overwhelming

so overwhelming

I really don't know where to look even,

where to start looking

don't know where & how to start

am I making sense?